How do I work?

I recently had a woman call me wanting to know how I work. She described herself as "confident" but has recently been celibate for many years and is now getting into a new relationship. She has had multiple surgeries and medical intervention so she has some physical trauma. She wants to be more sexually empowered.

While every client has a different experience according to their needs, this is what I told her:

Firstly, paramount to all work we do together is an understanding of boundaries and consent. I have a few exercises to help us establish a rapport, to make sure we know each other's boundaries and that you feel comfortable and confident communicating with me.

Then I build a firm foundation of body awareness using breathing exercises. From there, when we are ready, we move on to an interactive massage. In this case, the massage would focus first on mapping scar tissue and bringing more circulation to her body, in order to release the scars as well as bring more pleasure to these areas.

After mapping the body to see how it is working after these medical interventions, we would focus on the sensations of pleasure. What new or forgotten feelings can we find, maintaining dialogue during the massage?

Dialogue is not the only way the massage is interactive. When experiencing touch from me, I ask that my clients stay aware of their breathing to keep themselves as "in their bodies" and present with their sensations as possible. I teach various techniques to make sure you are staying focused with me instead of drifting off to relaxation like a more typical massage.

How is this experience empowering? My work is empowering because it wakes up areas that have forgotten sensation and wakes up sexuality to new experiences. It is empowering because you develop a better understanding of your body, including physiology and experiences of pleasure. And it is empowering because you walk away from the bodywork not just with a better understanding of your pleasure, but with an improved ability to communicate about what you want from your partners.

The whole experience typically takes at least three sessions, but the more work we do together, the deeper you can go to your understanding of your sexuality and yourself.